Oh, Masala Zone in Camden. What a terrible, terrible error you have made.
I'll bet you thought when I strolled through your doors, lured in by the promise of your lunch-time special, that I was just another customer. Just a man like any other. Oh, prettier than other men, obviously. (It's true, researchers* confirm it.) And with a certain pulsing, radiating charisma of sexuality that the majority of men can only dream of. But that, and my dazzling smile, aside I'll bet you thought I was as other men.
Foolish.
What you didn't know, Masala Zone in Camden, was that I am a blogger. I put out my thoughts and opinions onto The Internets. And do you know how many people read The Internets, Masala Zone in Camden? DO YOU??!! Well, neither do I but I bet its quite a few. Lots in fact.
Witness now as I harness the AWESOME POWERS OF THE INTERNETS to teach you, Masala Zone in Camden, a harsh and terrible lesson. Ready?
Masala Zone (in Camden)... suck.
HA! Hahahahahahahah!!! You see? You see, Masala Zone in Camden? You see that, bitch? There it is, on The Internets in black and, uh, pixels for all to see! But wait. There is more. I shall expand on my assessment of your restaurant so the vast throbbing masses do not simply dismiss my claims as the rantings of a madman drunk on power and high on allergy tablets.
For a start your "any meal on the menu for £5.95" claim is a bare faced lie! When I sat down I was informed that I could only select from certain sections. Well, fair enough. Its a lunch menu, I can deal. I selected a curry and rice dish and a diet coke. A diet coke that I found cost £3. Gnnn.
When the curry and rice arrived I discovered that it was, in fact, chicken curry IN rice. The two had been mixed together and sat, still holding an upside-down bowl shape, on my plate. Nice presentation there, Masala Zone in Camden. The food was greasy and not very spicy. The chicken that was there (and there wasn't very much) appeared to be offcuts. I don't expect 100% chicken breast but 50%? 30%? 2%. ANY fucking chicken breast at all? Not good. Not good at all, Masala Zone in Camden. In fact the whole thing was bland at best, downright unpleasant at worst.
And to add insult to injury when my bill came there was an automatic 15% service charge added to it! I admit, Masala Zone in Camden, your staff were very smiley, the ladies were pretty and they were very attentive (almost to a fault. Stop hovering when I am attempting to enjoy my meal, the food makes that difficult enough). However given that I'm already paying the best part of nine quid for a deeply substandard lunch I don't expect any more cash taped on.
And here it is where we come to the crux of your problem, Masala Zone in Camden. By going for the quick buck, the expensive price and the cheap product you may sucker me once but never again. Unlike, say NW1 the Thai place across the road (Parkway, 3 mins walk from the station) which I cannot recommend highly enough (Very generous £5 lunch deal. Great atmosphere, lovely staff. Brilliant.) and which has already seen my repeat business and will certainly see more of me and my sweet, sweet cash. Unlike them you will never get my money again. And furthermore I shall tell all and sundry of your rubbishisitude, vocab-mangling be damned.
Taste my fury Masala Zone in Camden for it is far spicier and more delicious than your sorry excuse for food.
JmC
Did I say Masala Zone in Camden enough to be the Number 1 hits do you think?
*In the past I have done research thusly I am a researcher.
| | James- Now with added kittens (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1){kind=small} flywingedmonkey) wrote, |
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July 10 2008, 13:54:03 UTC 3 years ago
This sounds like a job for.....
RESEARCH GIRL!
*dons glasses and puts hair in bun held in place with a pencil*
"Masala Zone in Camden" does not reveal your post on any of the first 3 pages.
"Masala Zone Camden review" gets you the last link on the first page! Go you!
July 10 2008, 14:04:31 UTC 3 years ago
JmC
Ruin MY lunch, will you, Masala Zone in Camden?
3 years ago
July 10 2008, 13:56:19 UTC 3 years ago
Damn I am going to have to do some work soon.
July 10 2008, 14:09:33 UTC 3 years ago
JmC
Besides "flywingedmonkey", obviously
3 years ago
July 10 2008, 13:56:49 UTC 3 years ago
opposite the Ampsterdam bookshop.
twas yummy and reasonably priced.
-=R286=-
and what was i doing in soho i hear you ask
July 10 2008, 14:08:32 UTC 3 years ago
JmC
Good hearing there.
3 years ago
Deleted comment
July 10 2008, 14:03:12 UTC 3 years ago
Re: Search engine rankings
I have lunked (is that a word) to one site, called http://www.welovelocal.com/ with my review. Perhaps I should do more...JmC
Or PERHAPS I should do some work...
3 years ago
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July 10 2008, 13:59:40 UTC 3 years ago
Masala Zone, Camden
I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention; was that Masala Zone in Camden?THE Masala Zone, Camden.
The Masala Zone in Camden that advertises "any meal on the menu for £5.95"?
I have never been to the Masal Zone in Camden and I am not likely now, ever to go to the Masala Zone in Camden. Why would anyone even think to go to the Masala Zone in Camden if it's that bad.
If you hadn't got enough hits on the Masal Zone in Camden before, that will tip you over the top.
July 10 2008, 14:07:49 UTC 3 years ago
Re: Masala Zone, Camden, Masala Zone, Camden,Masala Zone, Camden,Masala Zone, Camden,Masala Zone, Ca
You hear/read that, Masala Zone in Camden? YOU HEAR/READ THAT, Masala Zone in Camden?!! That is the beepy sound of your virtual destruction, Masala Zone in Camden!!!TESTIFY!!!!
JmC
Take that!
3 years ago
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July 10 2008, 14:20:28 UTC 3 years ago
July 10 2008, 14:34:50 UTC 3 years ago
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July 10 2008, 14:22:55 UTC 3 years ago
Masala Zone in Camden - bad review.
A pretty damming review of the Masala Zone in Camden, near the Lock in Camden, where the restaurant that is the Masala Zone is. Quite close to Camden Market and Stables, if it's Masala Zone in Camden, right?Sounds an awful place!
Nathan, the Toxic Pixie
July 10 2008, 14:44:30 UTC 3 years ago
Re: Masala Zone in Camden - bad review.
They will rue the day. RUE THE DAY!!!JmC
I can hear them
3 years ago
3 years ago
July 10 2008, 14:25:13 UTC 3 years ago
Only to find that Masala Zone in Camden suck?
Should I find myself in Camden I will definitely not be going to Masala Zone.
Should I ever work out how to link to anything I will link to this and spread the knowledge that Masala Zone in Camden is to be avoided
July 10 2008, 14:37:38 UTC 3 years ago
JmC
See that Masala Zone, Camden? That could have been a nice review of you! But no! No nice review for you, Masala Zone, Camden! Because you SUCK!
July 10 2008, 14:39:56 UTC 3 years ago
Well were I to visit a Masala Zone I would not now visit Masala Zone in Camden after that review!
&c
July 10 2008, 14:43:08 UTC 3 years ago
JmC
Quick and MEAN, that's why I like you
3 years ago
July 10 2008, 14:50:07 UTC 3 years ago
Masala Zone in Camden
Ah, I see, so Masala Zone in Camden are probably not the best for Masala, especially not in a zone, and not in Camden.Would it be fair to say that if you found yourself in Camden, Masala Zone would not be the place to eat that you'd recomend!
I trust that you now are an expert on Masala Zone in Camden, in fact an expert on, Masala, zones and Camden.
Now I fancy curry.
July 10 2008, 15:30:02 UTC 3 years ago
Re: Masala Zone in Camden
But not from Masala Zone in Camden, obviously.JmC
For they are RUBBISH!!!
July 10 2008, 14:54:38 UTC 3 years ago
July 10 2008, 15:03:22 UTC 3 years ago
JmC
Just think what I do to people to cross me properly
3 years ago
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July 10 2008, 15:25:24 UTC 3 years ago
Gay.
July 10 2008, 15:29:05 UTC 3 years ago
JmC
See you tomorrow!
3 years ago
July 10 2008, 16:04:17 UTC 3 years ago
Re your review of Masala Zone in Camden
Hello, you may have seen me onOne of my LJ friends has since posted your review of Masala Zone in Camden to stumbleupon, who may also wish to know that if you want food in Camden, not to visit Masala Zone, but to go to NW1 instead. I hope this meets with your approval!
July 10 2008, 16:12:51 UTC 3 years ago
Re: Re your review of Masala Zone in Camden
And when I say NW1, of course I mean Thai Place, NW1. Not to be confused with Masala Zone in Camden, NW1, which is to be avoided at all costs.July 10 2008, 16:16:36 UTC 3 years ago
Write a review
http://www.restaurant-guide.com/uk+reviJuly 10 2008, 16:24:37 UTC 3 years ago
Done
"Thank you for submitting a review for Masala Zone - Camden Town.You will be notified by email when your review is published to the site."
JmC
Restaurant chain closed by angry web phenomenon
July 10 2008, 17:50:03 UTC 3 years ago
I think you should have mentioned the name Masala Zone in Camden in the title of the post. To get more semantic weight. Or something like that - it's been a while since I rigged search engines professionally
July 10 2008, 18:12:23 UTC 3 years ago
July 10 2008, 18:43:22 UTC 3 years ago
July 10 2008, 18:48:26 UTC 3 years ago
ALternatively, if you didn't want a masala zone in Camden with such a bad review, you could try here: http://www.veggieplaces.co.uk/list_revi
July 10 2008, 18:51:57 UTC 3 years ago
Masala Zone in Camden Sucking
I have not been to Masala Zone in Camden, but it sounds like they suck. I did, however, once go to Masala Zone in Islington, and they were quite good. They did not suck like Masala Zone in Camden.xx
July 10 2008, 19:14:17 UTC 3 years ago
Another to avoid...
The Thai vegetarian buffer on Kentish Town Road by the tube station.We had the benefit of added cockroach in our dinner.
Furthermore, in the 3 days between us finding the 'roach and Environmental Health calling (following my complaint) - do you suppose they called the pest controller? Or closed the business until the infestation had been eradicated? Of course not.
On the positive side, the EHO found that the roach was at least free range, since there were loads of them in the kitchen, happily feeding on a dirty kitchen.
July 11 2008, 16:23:50 UTC 3 years ago
Re: Another to avoid...
Eeew. That's deeply unpleasant! Where have you found this from? Clearly my influence is spreading!JmC
I hope you got your money back!
3 years ago
July 10 2008, 19:33:05 UTC 3 years ago
Thank you for reviewing Masala Zone in Camden, I like curry, but shall now not visit Masala Zone in Camden.
July 10 2008, 19:56:13 UTC 3 years ago
Masala Zone in Camden will not be getting my buisness. Dreadful Masala Zone in Camden.
Anonymous
July 10 2008, 20:39:33 UTC 3 years ago
Unfair review.
Hi. I just read your review of Masala Zone, which I found on google whilst looking for a review of the place to send to a friend, and wanted to share my experience of this eatery with your readers.The one and only time I have eaten there was April this year. My partner and I live near Camden and as both of us enjoy spicy food, we had sampled most of the restaurants near our house. Wanting to try something new I suggested that we try Masala Zone and so we went there. It was there on a Thursday evening if I remember correctly.
The staff were as wonderful as you described and very polite. The restaurant was busy, but we were seated quickly and the food. The food was simply divine. I had a Dhaaba Roghan Josh and my partner had The Grand Thali. It was the tastiest curry by a long way either of us had had in Camden.
I would definitely recommend this restaurant to my friends, and urge you not to paint the best curry house in Camden in such a bad light.
</lies>
bwahahahahaha
</crazymeandave>
July 10 2008, 22:23:43 UTC 3 years ago
Re: Unfair review.
Hello, annon person!You are, of course, entitled to your view of this eatery- in fact should you wish sing your praise far and wide. I, however had an unsatisfactory experience (and, on speaking to a smattering of Camden eaters I am not the first- on friend claims to have found chewing gum in his food: he got an apology and a full refund but that is hardly the point.)
I am glad your time was positive- hells i wish that mine had been. Sadly this was not the case and therefore Masala Zone (in Camden) has become the target of one of my rants. Such is the price you pay for sub-standard product.
I shall, obviously, leave your review up- readers, here is an opposing view: should you wish to take your tastebubs in your own hands them eat there and give me your reviews (I am aware that most of the nay-sayers here are merely supporting me for I am awesome and therefore right 97% of the time).
Cheers for reading and happy eating!
JmC
Recently moved from Brum and therefoe knows good curry when he doesn't taste it
Anonymous
3 years ago
3 years ago
July 10 2008, 22:07:23 UTC 3 years ago
Masala Zone Camden
Interesting review of the Masala Zone in Camden.I think, based on this, I will not be visiting the Masala Zone in Camden during my next visit to London.
July 11 2008, 07:40:52 UTC 3 years ago
Re: Masala Zone Camden
...and I won't be visiting Masala Zone in Camden either when I'm next in London.Anonymous
July 10 2008, 22:27:34 UTC 3 years ago
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