Heed my words and live your lives by them! - Don’t poke the bear [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
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Don’t poke the bear [May. 26th, 2011|04:07 pm]
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Hola peoples,

Some of you may remember that back in 2008 I rubbished Masala Zone in Camden. (Review here.) And for good reason, Masala Zone in Camden gave me rubbishy expensive food. Masala Zone in Camden deserved my review, every bile-scented syllable. Responding to my culinary distress The Internet rushed to my aid, driving my review of Masala Zone in Camden up the Google searches so that all might know of sub-par experience. A bit of fun to divert us from the soul-crushing futility of our lives. And you’d think that would be that.

But wait.

For Masala Zone in Camden… HAS DISCOVERED THE INTERNET.

Yes, some THREE YEARS later some disgruntled manager of Masala Zone in Camden has come upon my review and responded with scorn and fury! Oh noes!

http://flywingedmonkey.livejournal.com/352625.html?page=2#comments (its at the bottom)

Transcript runs thus:

“Dickheads on a power trip”

I’m assuming that would be us. Oh, the power of rubbishing something on the Internet. It makes me giddy just to think of it.

“It think that says it all –“

It think? Is this some culinary robot doing the replying? Have Masala Zone in Camden had SO MANY complaints that they have had to build some sort of robot to deal with the flood. Some poor mechanised Arnie typing out vicious replies while he quietly dies a electronic death inside knowing that what he is typing is tosh. But regardless “Dickheads on a power trip” apparently conveys the sentiments.

“I doubt they would want you back.”

Oh its “I” now is it? And “you” is it? Because CLEARLY you’re are a loyal customer furious about this slating your fav eatery got. Not because you have any financial stake in Masala Zone in Camden or anything.

“By the way your review comes in on page 4 of searches.”

Yes. You are MERELY a customer. A customer who so loves Masala Zone in Camden that they would trawl through 4 pages of searches responding to each negative one. Uh huh.

“No worries for MZ _ CT”

This is particularly good- THEY WON’T SAY “Masala Zone in Camden” because it will up the hit rate! That is AWESOME. And furthermore demonstrates that they DO have worries. Such worries that they take the time to respond to a THREE YEAR OLD review. Wow. No worries INDEED, Masala Zone in Camden.

Obviously “MZ_CT” could be the cool street name of Masala Zone in Camden but I somehow doubt it.

“Go fuck yourselves”

Ah. Nice. Y’know, Masala Zone in Camden, I might have let you get away with “Dickheads on a power trip” but “Go fuck yourselves”. That’s outright abuse right there, Masala Zone in Camden. I fear you have made a terrible mistake.

Go, my minions. Spread the word of this. Link the original review. Tell your friends. Twitter it, Facebook it, Bebo it (does that still exist).

YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR TRANSGRESSIONS, MASALA ZOME IN CAMDEN!

JmC
Dickhead on a power trip
linkReply

Comments:
From: suicideally
2011-05-26 03:16 pm (UTC)

(Link)

I must say that, although since your last review of Masala Zone, Camden Town, I am not much inclined to go to Masala Zone Camden Town, the unconvincing internet trickery of someone associated with Masala Zone, Camden Town does further disincline me to dine at Masala Zone, Camden Town.
[User Picture]From: flywingedmonkey
2011-05-26 03:46 pm (UTC)

(Link)

Hmm. Type in “Masala Zone in Camden Review” into Google and I come up on page ONE! Interesting.

And it’s not just me that isn’t happy-

From http://www.london-eating.co.uk/36052.htm

“Nice decor and charming service cannot cover up for rubbish food - shame on you Masala Zone! Directors of the parent company: Ranjit Mathrani, Namita Panjabi and Camellia Panjabi should take note. How dare you?”

And again-

“No flexibility on the ingredients. One main course arrived before any of the starters. The food is the quality of a medium-price microwave ready meal. My starter was tepid. My main between bad and bland.
Over £20 per head for the most ordinary of meals with about the smallest beer you could find - extortionate.

We were given a customer feedback form - it had already been filled in by one of the staff. They had given themselves the highest mark in all categories - Afghan elections are run more honestly.

Dreadful.”

Wow. I wonder if they got nasty responses too!

And here: http://www.viewlondon.co.uk/restaurants/masala-zone-info-25253.html

“The pilau rice was nothing but overdone brown rice and the naan bread, well it was like getting the pizza base from one of Camden's many filth riddled pizza vendor's kiosks spreading it with butter and then smearing it with the most disgusting garlic flavouring that I have ever had the misfortune of experiencing, soggy, undercooked, more flan than naan.

The flavour of the 'curry' was awful, I honestly say that I have tasted better microwave curries, my dish was just a horridly watery purple mixture of cinnamon and garlic which had been abused with a generous handful of hot chilli (presumably intended to burn off my taste buds so that I would not realise how terrible the sauce tasted..with hindsight perhaps they did me a favour) My girlfriends dish was supposed to be butter chicken but tasted like somebody burnt the tomato sauce and had tried to conceal their error by melting a block of lard into the sauce, was this burnt flavour an attempt to impart the dish with the famous charcoal oven flavour?.

I am running out of space so, Masala zone is an insult to curry avoid it like the plague, it is hideous.”

Tsk, tsk. Masala Zone in Camden. I see why you had to build that complaint-bot. You must have been shocked when you found that the Internet existed.

JmC
Don’t fuck with the blogger
[User Picture]From: caddyman
2011-05-26 03:49 pm (UTC)

Masala Zone in Camden Town

(Link)

Well, if you really wanted we could repost it all with vigour and try to get Masala Zone in Camden Town up there on the search page results to page one. Add in a few references to MZ-CT to make sure.

Just in case no-ne understood that MZ-CT is also Masala Zone in Camden Town.

I mean they are clearly upset that they don't rate the first page after three years...

-Willing Cohort

Edited at 2011-05-26 03:52 pm (UTC)
[User Picture]From: flywingedmonkey
2011-05-26 03:53 pm (UTC)

Now you say it...

(Link)

I do want that. I really do!

JmC
Kill them all
[User Picture]From: elbly
2011-05-26 05:10 pm (UTC)

(Link)

So exactly how can I help you in spreading the word about Masala Zone in Camden?

It is clear that your write up of Masala Zone in Camden Town is a review of the highest quality, and deserves recognition. It is important that Masala Zone in Camden receives reviews from all it's customers, not just those who at at Masala Zone in Camden Town and believed it to be deserving of multiple stars.

All in all, if anyone is looking for a Masala Zone in Camden review then reading your take on Masala Zone in Camden Town will at least be of interest.
[User Picture]From: elbly
2011-05-26 05:12 pm (UTC)

(Link)

errr... ate at Masala Zone in Camden Town

Not 'at at' - that would just be crazy bad spelling, worthy of Masala Zone in Camden
[User Picture]From: thatmakesmemad
2011-05-26 05:35 pm (UTC)

(Link)

On the other hand
“I had a fantastic takeaway from Masala Zone in Camden recently. When you spend lots of time away from home, which I am at the moment, it’s a rare treat to stay in, relax and enjoy a curry.”
David Milliband
Well it could be worse. Could have been recommended by Clegg.:D
[User Picture]From: mark13
2011-05-27 03:12 pm (UTC)

(Link)

Well I guess he does have plenty of time on his hands to write restaurant reviews these days.
[User Picture]From: pingback_bot
2011-05-26 08:49 pm (UTC)

Masala Zone, Camden

(Link)

User caddyman referenced to your post from Masala Zone, Camden saying: [...] To cut a long story short, he didn't like it [...]
[User Picture]From: caddyman
2011-05-26 08:52 pm (UTC)

(Link)

I thought it only fair to spread the word: http://caddyman.livejournal.com/1186742.html
[User Picture]From: failing_angel
2011-05-26 10:17 pm (UTC)

Shock about Masala Zone in Camden

(Link)

The word has been heard:

Regardless of whether the review for Masala Zone in Camden is accurate or not, and regardless of whether it was actually a representative of Masala Zone in Camden who responded in this way, or whether it was someone merely deciding to defend Masala Zone in Camden. I am put off the idea of going to Masala Zone in Camden (even though Masala Zone in Camden is a short distance from where I live) because it appears to be associated with people who trawl through four pages of searches for Masala Zone in Camden and then respond to a stranger's thoughts and opinions in such a trollish manner.
If I was responsible for Masala Zone in Camden then I would worry about those people who are doing more harm than good in trying to protect the reputation of Masala Zone in Camden.
[User Picture]From: failing_angel
2011-05-26 10:18 pm (UTC)

Re: Shock about Masala Zone in Camden

(Link)

PS, good luck in this campaign regarding Masala Zone in Camden.
[User Picture]From: flywingedmonkey
2011-05-27 04:26 pm (UTC)

Re: Shock about Masala Zone in Camden

(Link)

Thank you! I'm pondering a Facebook group and an angry e-mail to their Press Office!

JmC
Overreact? Moi?
[User Picture]From: failing_angel
2011-05-27 06:33 pm (UTC)

Re: Shock about Masala Zone in Camden

(Link)

The sky is the limit.

Lets hope that the managers of The Masala Zone in Camden Town pay attention and improve the standing of The Masala Zone in Camden Town.

[User Picture]From: cookwitch
2011-05-27 08:17 am (UTC)

(Link)

Here via yon failing_angel.
I have blogged. I have Tweeted. They are on Twitter and I have tagged them. Bunch of meanies Masala Zone Camden!
[User Picture]From: flywingedmonkey
2011-05-27 04:35 pm (UTC)

(Link)

Hooray! My squabble will raise an army!

JmC
A keyboard based army but an army nonetheless
[User Picture]From: mark13
2011-05-27 03:16 pm (UTC)

(Link)

One would think that Masala Zone in Camden would have the time and the money to train their employees not to go off message on the internet, considering the massive profits they must make on the overpriced and underprepared rubbish they serve at Masala Zone in Camden.
[User Picture]From: kathbad
2011-05-29 09:54 pm (UTC)

(Link)

Does anyone know where this all appears with a search for "Masala Zone in Camden"?

Just so that we know what would happen if we search for "Masala Zone in Camden" as knowing where "Masala Zone in Camden" results are headed may be an idea.