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James- Now with added kittens

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James' Restaurant Reviews 1: Masala Zone in Camden (and also the Thai place, NW1) [Jul. 10th, 2008|02:33 pm]
James- Now with added kittens
Oh, Masala Zone in Camden. What a terrible, terrible error you have made.

I'll bet you thought when I strolled through your doors, lured in by the promise of your lunch-time special, that I was just another customer. Just a man like any other. Oh, prettier than other men, obviously. (It's true, researchers* confirm it.) And with a certain pulsing, radiating charisma of sexuality that the majority of men can only dream of. But that, and my dazzling smile, aside I'll bet you thought I was as other men.

Foolish.

What you didn't know, Masala Zone in Camden, was that I am a blogger. I put out my thoughts and opinions onto The Internets. And do you know how many people read The Internets, Masala Zone in Camden? DO YOU??!! Well, neither do I but I bet its quite a few. Lots in fact.

Witness now as I harness the AWESOME POWERS OF THE INTERNETS to teach you, Masala Zone in Camden, a harsh and terrible lesson. Ready?

Masala Zone (in Camden)... suck.

HA! Hahahahahahahah!!! You see? You see, Masala Zone in Camden? You see that, bitch? There it is, on The Internets in black and, uh, pixels for all to see! But wait. There is more. I shall expand on my assessment of your restaurant so the vast throbbing masses do not simply dismiss my claims as the rantings of a madman drunk on power and high on allergy tablets.

For a start your "any meal on the menu for £5.95" claim is a bare faced lie! When I sat down I was informed that I could only select from certain sections. Well, fair enough. Its a lunch menu, I can deal. I selected a curry and rice dish and a diet coke. A diet coke that I found cost £3. Gnnn.

When the curry and rice arrived I discovered that it was, in fact, chicken curry IN rice. The two had been mixed together and sat, still holding an upside-down bowl shape, on my plate. Nice presentation there, Masala Zone in Camden. The food was greasy and not very spicy. The chicken that was there (and there wasn't very much) appeared to be offcuts. I don't expect 100% chicken breast but 50%? 30%? 2%. ANY fucking chicken breast at all? Not good. Not good at all, Masala Zone in Camden. In fact the whole thing was bland at best, downright unpleasant at worst.

And to add insult to injury when my bill came there was an automatic 15% service charge added to it! I admit, Masala Zone in Camden, your staff were very smiley, the ladies were pretty and they were very attentive (almost to a fault. Stop hovering when I am attempting to enjoy my meal, the food makes that difficult enough). However given that I'm already paying the best part of nine quid for a deeply substandard lunch I don't expect any more cash taped on.

And here it is where we come to the crux of your problem, Masala Zone in Camden. By going for the quick buck, the expensive price and the cheap product you may sucker me once but never again. Unlike, say NW1 the Thai place across the road (Parkway, 3 mins walk from the station) which I cannot recommend highly enough (Very generous £5 lunch deal. Great atmosphere, lovely staff. Brilliant.) and which has already seen my repeat business and will certainly see more of me and my sweet, sweet cash. Unlike them you will never get my money again. And furthermore I shall tell all and sundry of your rubbishisitude, vocab-mangling be damned.

Taste my fury Masala Zone in Camden for it is far spicier and more delicious than your sorry excuse for food.

JmC
Did I say Masala Zone in Camden enough to be the Number 1 hits do you think?


*In the past I have done research thusly I am a researcher.
linkReply

Comments:
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From: annomalley
2008-07-10 06:12 pm (UTC)
I'd put links in there, with titles, but then my SEO is a bit early 21st century.
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[User Picture]From: quondam
2008-07-10 06:43 pm (UTC)
I'm in Camden tomorrow. I shall avoid it.
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[User Picture]From: cybermule
2008-07-10 06:48 pm (UTC)
Is there really a masala zone in Camden that is that bad that it is a masala zone in Camden that has got a bad review? I was looking for a masala zone in Camden, that is, somewhere masala selling that was a zone in camden that didn't have a bad review, but all I've heard of is this Masala Zone in Camden that has got a bad review.

ALternatively, if you didn't want a masala zone in Camden with such a bad review, you could try here: http://www.veggieplaces.co.uk/list_reviews.php?place_id=917. Rather than going to such a bad masala Zone, in Camden.
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[User Picture]From: doris
2008-07-10 06:51 pm (UTC)

Masala Zone in Camden Sucking

I have not been to Masala Zone in Camden, but it sounds like they suck. I did, however, once go to Masala Zone in Islington, and they were quite good. They did not suck like Masala Zone in Camden.

xx
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(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]From: flywingedmonkey
2008-07-11 04:23 pm (UTC)

Re: Another to avoid...

Eeew. That's deeply unpleasant! Where have you found this from? Clearly my influence is spreading!

JmC
I hope you got your money back!
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[User Picture]From: meatina
2008-07-10 07:33 pm (UTC)
I think if you want your review of Masala Zone in Camden to be the number one hit when searching Masala Zone in Camden, then you should link to it's site (y'know, the site of Masala Zone in Camden - that is, if Masala Zone in Camden has a site), every time you mention Masala Zone in Camden in your review.
Thank you for reviewing Masala Zone in Camden, I like curry, but shall now not visit Masala Zone in Camden.
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[User Picture]From: amandamaesteele
2008-07-10 07:56 pm (UTC)
Damn I am not impressed with the damning review of Masala Zone in Camden.
Masala Zone in Camden will not be getting my buisness. Dreadful Masala Zone in Camden.
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From: (Anonymous)
2008-07-10 08:39 pm (UTC)

Unfair review.

Hi. I just read your review of Masala Zone, which I found on google whilst looking for a review of the place to send to a friend, and wanted to share my experience of this eatery with your readers.

The one and only time I have eaten there was April this year. My partner and I live near Camden and as both of us enjoy spicy food, we had sampled most of the restaurants near our house. Wanting to try something new I suggested that we try Masala Zone and so we went there. It was there on a Thursday evening if I remember correctly.

The staff were as wonderful as you described and very polite. The restaurant was busy, but we were seated quickly and the food. The food was simply divine. I had a Dhaaba Roghan Josh and my partner had The Grand Thali. It was the tastiest curry by a long way either of us had had in Camden.

I would definitely recommend this restaurant to my friends, and urge you not to paint the best curry house in Camden in such a bad light.
</lies>
bwahahahahaha
</crazymeandave>
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[User Picture]From: flywingedmonkey
2008-07-10 10:23 pm (UTC)

Re: Unfair review.

Hello, annon person!

You are, of course, entitled to your view of this eatery- in fact should you wish sing your praise far and wide. I, however had an unsatisfactory experience (and, on speaking to a smattering of Camden eaters I am not the first- on friend claims to have found chewing gum in his food: he got an apology and a full refund but that is hardly the point.)

I am glad your time was positive- hells i wish that mine had been. Sadly this was not the case and therefore Masala Zone (in Camden) has become the target of one of my rants. Such is the price you pay for sub-standard product.

I shall, obviously, leave your review up- readers, here is an opposing view: should you wish to take your tastebubs in your own hands them eat there and give me your reviews (I am aware that most of the nay-sayers here are merely supporting me for I am awesome and therefore right 97% of the time).

Cheers for reading and happy eating!

JmC
Recently moved from Brum and therefoe knows good curry when he doesn't taste it
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Re: Unfair review. - (Anonymous) Expand
[User Picture]From: kynon
2008-07-10 10:07 pm (UTC)

Masala Zone Camden

Interesting review of the Masala Zone in Camden.

I think, based on this, I will not be visiting the Masala Zone in Camden during my next visit to London.
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[User Picture]From: asw909
2008-07-11 07:40 am (UTC)

Re: Masala Zone Camden

...and I won't be visiting Masala Zone in Camden either when I'm next in London.
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From: (Anonymous)
2008-07-10 10:27 pm (UTC)
Masala Zone, it sounds like a fucking level in Sonic the hedgehog and to be fair that's enough to put me off. Actually that's a lie, it probably makes me want to go.
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[User Picture]From: purpleheather
2008-07-11 07:03 am (UTC)
No sign of "Masala Zone in Camden" or "Masala Zone Camden" on the top page yet, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time before Masala Zone in Camden gets to the top of the google searches for Masala Zone in Camden.

:p
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[User Picture]From: kathbad
2008-07-11 02:31 pm (UTC)
It is now in position 12...

Nearly on the front page.
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[User Picture]From: emmelinemay
2008-07-11 12:56 pm (UTC)

FOURTH



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[User Picture]From: kathbad
2008-07-11 02:29 pm (UTC)

Re: FOURTH

Fourth when you include "review"

Even a search on "Masala Zone in Camden" is now up to 11!

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[User Picture]From: purpleheather
2008-07-11 05:48 pm (UTC)
Oooh - [Bad username: flyingwingedmonkey] - considering how much you love Masala Zone in Camden, this is right up your street!

:p
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[User Picture]From: starbright_girl
2008-07-14 12:53 am (UTC)

No.1!

Just thought you'd like to know... masala zone camden review gets you 1st on google. ;)

That is, if you're looking for a review of masala zone in camden.

The masala zone in camden.

Just helping the cause.;)
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[User Picture]From: tuv23
2008-07-14 03:11 pm (UTC)
Masala Zone in Camden
Masala Zone in Camden
Masala Zone in Camden
Masala Zone in Camden
Masala Zone in Camden
Masala Zone in Camden
Masala Zone in Camden
Masala Zone in Camden
Masala Zone in Camden

respect :)
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