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James- Now with added kittens

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James' Restaurant Reviews 1: Masala Zone in Camden (and also the Thai place, NW1) [Jul. 10th, 2008|02:33 pm]
James- Now with added kittens
Oh, Masala Zone in Camden. What a terrible, terrible error you have made.

I'll bet you thought when I strolled through your doors, lured in by the promise of your lunch-time special, that I was just another customer. Just a man like any other. Oh, prettier than other men, obviously. (It's true, researchers* confirm it.) And with a certain pulsing, radiating charisma of sexuality that the majority of men can only dream of. But that, and my dazzling smile, aside I'll bet you thought I was as other men.


What you didn't know, Masala Zone in Camden, was that I am a blogger. I put out my thoughts and opinions onto The Internets. And do you know how many people read The Internets, Masala Zone in Camden? DO YOU??!! Well, neither do I but I bet its quite a few. Lots in fact.

Witness now as I harness the AWESOME POWERS OF THE INTERNETS to teach you, Masala Zone in Camden, a harsh and terrible lesson. Ready?

Masala Zone (in Camden)... suck.

HA! Hahahahahahahah!!! You see? You see, Masala Zone in Camden? You see that, bitch? There it is, on The Internets in black and, uh, pixels for all to see! But wait. There is more. I shall expand on my assessment of your restaurant so the vast throbbing masses do not simply dismiss my claims as the rantings of a madman drunk on power and high on allergy tablets.

For a start your "any meal on the menu for £5.95" claim is a bare faced lie! When I sat down I was informed that I could only select from certain sections. Well, fair enough. Its a lunch menu, I can deal. I selected a curry and rice dish and a diet coke. A diet coke that I found cost £3. Gnnn.

When the curry and rice arrived I discovered that it was, in fact, chicken curry IN rice. The two had been mixed together and sat, still holding an upside-down bowl shape, on my plate. Nice presentation there, Masala Zone in Camden. The food was greasy and not very spicy. The chicken that was there (and there wasn't very much) appeared to be offcuts. I don't expect 100% chicken breast but 50%? 30%? 2%. ANY fucking chicken breast at all? Not good. Not good at all, Masala Zone in Camden. In fact the whole thing was bland at best, downright unpleasant at worst.

And to add insult to injury when my bill came there was an automatic 15% service charge added to it! I admit, Masala Zone in Camden, your staff were very smiley, the ladies were pretty and they were very attentive (almost to a fault. Stop hovering when I am attempting to enjoy my meal, the food makes that difficult enough). However given that I'm already paying the best part of nine quid for a deeply substandard lunch I don't expect any more cash taped on.

And here it is where we come to the crux of your problem, Masala Zone in Camden. By going for the quick buck, the expensive price and the cheap product you may sucker me once but never again. Unlike, say NW1 the Thai place across the road (Parkway, 3 mins walk from the station) which I cannot recommend highly enough (Very generous £5 lunch deal. Great atmosphere, lovely staff. Brilliant.) and which has already seen my repeat business and will certainly see more of me and my sweet, sweet cash. Unlike them you will never get my money again. And furthermore I shall tell all and sundry of your rubbishisitude, vocab-mangling be damned.

Taste my fury Masala Zone in Camden for it is far spicier and more delicious than your sorry excuse for food.

Did I say Masala Zone in Camden enough to be the Number 1 hits do you think?

*In the past I have done research thusly I am a researcher.

[User Picture]From: caddyman
2008-07-10 01:59 pm (UTC)

Masala Zone, Camden

I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention; was that Masala Zone in Camden?

THE Masala Zone, Camden.

The Masala Zone in Camden that advertises "any meal on the menu for £5.95"?

I have never been to the Masal Zone in Camden and I am not likely now, ever to go to the Masala Zone in Camden. Why would anyone even think to go to the Masala Zone in Camden if it's that bad.

If you hadn't got enough hits on the Masal Zone in Camden before, that will tip you over the top.
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[User Picture]From: flywingedmonkey
2008-07-10 02:07 pm (UTC)

Re: Masala Zone, Camden, Masala Zone, Camden,Masala Zone, Camden,Masala Zone, Camden,Masala Zone, Ca

You hear/read that, Masala Zone in Camden? YOU HEAR/READ THAT, Masala Zone in Camden?!! That is the beepy sound of your virtual destruction, Masala Zone in Camden!!!


Take that!
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[User Picture]From: caddyman
2008-07-10 02:09 pm (UTC)

Re: Masala Zone, Camden, Masala Zone, Camden,Masala Zone, Camden,Masala Zone, Camden,Masala Zone, Ca

Oh, and I added a link too.

Just to be safe. Search engines like that sort of thing.
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[User Picture]From: theoclarke
2008-07-10 02:11 pm (UTC)

Re: Masala Zone, Camden

Clever, Lord High Coelocanth Caddyman, how you mix the normal spelling of "Masala Zone in Camden" with the alternative "Marsal Zone in Camden" so as to increase the priobability of hits for the keyboardly challenged too.
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[User Picture]From: caddyman
2008-07-10 02:18 pm (UTC)

Re: Masala Zone, Camden

One does what one can; one does what one can.
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[User Picture]From: theoclarke
2008-07-10 02:21 pm (UTC)

Re: Masala Zone, Camden

Sadly, we have not yet accommodated the misspelling MAZALA, which I saw used by CAMRA.
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