With winter fast approaching the Transport Select Committee met in an effort to put measures in place to stop people whining how; “This wouldn’t happen in Russia/Iceland/other countries with a dramatically different weather system to the UK.” Spurred by reports that some people had to wait for literally hours, the Committee encouraged Transport Secretary Philip Hammond to appoint a senior Department for Transport official to stare wearily into a camera and agree that yes indeed there should be more road-gritters that stand idle 362 days of the year and of course public money should be spent to develop plane that can fly through freezing fog to ensure that you don’t miss a single day of your cut-price holiday .
Freeze, also known as Dr Victor Fries, advocates a more aggressive approach; “People do not vont better information or 10 year predictions. They vont things to change vith the flick of a svitch or the press of a trigger. As Supreme Snow I vill give them this! They will all have… an ice day.”
Opponents of Dr Fries have suggested that he will simply use the power and influence to further his agenda to plunge the entire earth into a deep chill and that the Britain would be forced to import expensive Bat-garbed contractors to deal with this new problem.
Mr Oswald Cobblepot, Freeze’s senior adviser, responded; “These accusations are baseless and defamatory. My client simply wants to use his icy death-weapons to help the UK. Who in their right mind would want to encourage a land filled with ice and snow , wak, wak.”
“Anyway he couldn’t be more unhelpful than Bob Crow.”
More here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-13363738