With the end of the Harry Potter franchise thousands of bullies will soon be left with no term to address to males wearing glasses. For the last few years playgrounds have been the scene of such deeply original jeers as, “Oi Potter, Potter! Harry! Where’s your wand, Harry!”, “Quidditch boy! Hey, Quidditch! You catch the snitch, Quidditch?!” and “Fuck off back to Hogwarts.”
The Potter phenomenon has also affected legions of male office-workers. James Morgan, a near-sighted man working in Euston commented, “It’s just the crushing inevitability of it- you lose a contact lens, wear your glasses and these chirpy cock-rags dance up to you grinning and pointing at your specs. ‘You know who you look like? Harry Potter! Doesn’t he? Doesn’t he look just like Harry Potter?!’ as if they are the first person in the history of fucking ever to link the two. I swear the next person to ask if I have a lightning bolt scar will get a pencil rammed up their nose. Thanks a fuck, JK Rowland.”
Professor Noel Martinez of the Institute for Verbal Abuse at Cambridge said; “Harry Potter has filled an important cultural role in our society. Despite being the noble protagonist of seven stories he has been seized on as a term of abuse for morons, much as Blade and Neo were used as insults for anyone with a long black trench-coat a few years ago. Any attempt to point out that being compared to the star of a film is no bad thing will merely get a black stare or possibly a panicked point and scream of ‘Matrix!’
“With the end of these films idiots will probably revert to ‘speccy’, ‘four-eyes’ and the always popular “speccy-four-eyes”, which is a shame.
“It was noted that females wearing glasses are very rarely abused as it is well known that they might at any second remove their eyewear, shake out their hair and become phenomenally hot.
Shut up, it could happen.”
I like your glasses.. they cover up more of YOUR FACE!